I have for a very long time developed a proven record of being positive and mindful. Yet, recently I found myself almost sunken right back into a depressive state of mind. (I suffered from depression for a while and finally broke free in 2015 after having therapy on the NHS). I quit my internship three days early and quickly packed a small suitcase with a week’s supply of clothes and ran for my life to a dear friend of mine who lives in the country. Mind had turned on me and I didn’t know what to do about it.
I felt as if I was going under and needed someone to take care of me. Well, my friend did take care of me, even though she herself has been going through some tough times. She placed her dilemma on hold for a couple of days and just allowed me to wallow in self pity for a short while. My head pained from over think and over analysis of my own problems.
I then started to refocus my energy day by day, moment by moment and the headache that had plagued me for days left. My mind felt a little bit clearer amd my thoughts were once again calmed. I have now decided to work on my thought process, read some books that I know that will help my life and set some goals with clear visions ahead. The feeling I had was very scary and took me out of my comfort zone and into a dark place I never want to return. I have now realised why it happened to me.
1. My work life was active but my mind was passive. What I mean by this is I had become complacent about my goals and life ambitions. I stopped taking time to nuture the creative side of my being.
2. I stopped exercising. It is proven that exercising helps to release endomorphins or happy hormones.
3. I have started to isolate myself. I have a healthy spiritual life, I go to church regularly and I go home. In-between that was work and nothing more. Yes, I had my friends and my sisters but life gets busy and you don’t see people often.
I have now decided that I needed to ensure that I took care of me. I hope this is the beginning of a new mindset, a new whole new me. I have started to exercise again including riding a bike which I have not done since 2011. It feels exhilarating and this Summer I am ensure I set the tone towards a beautiful change process for myself. I hope to take my friend along for the ride. I hope she is ready 🙂
Please, if you feel or have depressive thoughts don’t let it take over, seek some assistance. There is no shame in it. Mental health is a serious thing and I hope this helps some one somehow.