Having Self-Belief

I was inspired to write this after failing to fall asleep at my usual time for a few nights. The reason behind this is the fact that a recent meeting left me feeling inadequate, incapable, doubtful, all the words to describe ‘dumb’. This stayed with me for a little while until I laid in bed and started questioning God loudly!

His answer was entitled ‘ The only treasure’ by Ellen. G. White in her devotional book ‘From the Heart.’ I use this book each night for my devotional base. In the Feb 24th writing, the passage was Ephesians 2:10:- which says ‘for we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before hand that should walk with them.

This led me to read these very words as a reminder to myself from another day’s reading – ”cultivate the thoughts and expand the soul by refusing to allow the mind to be filled with unimportant matters. Secure every advantage within your reach for strengthening the intellect. Do not rest satisfied with low standard. Do not be content until, by faithful endeavour, watchfulness and earnest prayer, you have secured the wisdom that is from above.” I have been meditating on such good advice, even decades ago there were words like this that had such great meaning and can still help with encouragement today!

One of the greatest gifts we have been given outside of life, is choice! How we spend our time, what we do with our lives, our friends, the actions we perform, the way we act, etc. all leads to choice. We are free to choose. I have decided from long time ago and especially since I saw how fear and negativity affected the mind and body (to not allow anyone’s negative talk to tear the walls of hope, dreams, goals, aspirations, determination and desires down). There are some people who find validation in bullying others, creating doubt and dispair in someone, they then sit back and feel great within themselves for creating such powerful words of discouragement! Words are powerful when you believe them. They form a tornado in your mind and can damage every aspect of your life if you allow it to. Instead why don’t you and I change:

1 – Thoughts

2 – Feelings

3 – Actions

The battlefield of the mind is real. We are at war! We are crippled by fear, we talk ourselves out of many things because of fear ( I am guilty of that). 1Timothy 1: 7 speaks about God not giving us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. Did you notice it said ‘power!! What does that mean? It means we can have power over fear! We can control our feelings or self-worth and then add the action. Doing the things though fearful, though reluctant, though insecure, though we constantly hear ‘you are not good enough, you are not this enough or that enough’.  We can push through these dark words of discouragement and stand on the other side of brightness. Then we can help others find this amazing discovery.

We, however, should have faith, and apply the action of faith, for faith without works is dead.

I was up writing late at night because I have decided no more of allowing my mind to be used for anyone’s mind games, for anyone’s manipulation tactics.

I am an over-comer, many people wouldn’t imagine that I have been through some of the things I have been through, however, I stand firm, I see myself as a born achiever, a mould breaker, for my spirit cannot be contained. I have been told that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! What others say unless it is of good report is like water running off my back…it doesn’t stick, what’s left I can dry that off.

Let’s stop allowing bosses, friends, family members, and people in general to take our thoughts, our minds, our everything and destroy us so that they can feel better about themselves. Rise up, for we are like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, pulling strength in her wings to soar above, to glisten in the sunlight and use her sound to say hey I am here!

What are your life desire?

At one point in my life I thought that teachig was my ‘calling.’ I loved it so much when I was living in my home land of Jamaica (that was my first career). I fought very hard to return to the profession in this country only to be discouraged by what takes place inside the classroom. What takes place within the institution itself with the plotics, the bullying etc. I would never want to be a part of such a thing even if I could make a difference in a young life sad to say it but I speak the truth!

What I do know is that I believe I am called to make a difference in other people’s lives. I was shown my next phase of life’s work. This involves working with women who are abused. This however, will not be just another degree, but a ministerial degree with a difference…haha no that’s the name.

Of course I have to wait on the guidance of the Holy Spirit, but I know when God is ready He will tell me when! I have never felt as if I wanted to work with women and girls muchless those who are abused! That has to be the work of the Spirit. I will wait and listen for instructions, in the meantime the foundation is being laid.

The career I am in now (HR) has its purpose and once that is fulfiled and God sees that I have learned what I need to learn He will send me where my heart should be. I know that I would like to make a difference in someone’s life.

This growing desire has now rested itself deep within, I know now that I need to do some research, such as looking at universities that are right for me or perhaps even see if there is a job for me in an organisation that deals with this but working in the capacity of an HR personnel first. Whichever way I get there I will know once I am there. I am drawn to encourage women by helping them see how magnificant a creature God made them to be and that no man or no one can stop that.

It hurts me when I see potential wasted in a female because of what she had gone through in life – their innocence stolen by some disgusting pervert, or because their guardian died while they were young they were neglected by family members instead of cared for, what ever the reason it should never have happened. I know that there are many organisations out there that are doing fantastic work where these women are concerned and I believe I need to be a part of it.

This fight has become personal, I won’t go into specifics but I have known too many young women who deserved more.

God help us all as we try to make a difference in this world.

Happy New Year – Growth is uncomfortable

Happy New Year everyone. I do hope this year will be the year it happens for you, please ensure that you do not allow yourself to stop you. Cast those self-doubt, unbelief, and personal issues away, do not allow them to walk on your mind or back. Also, remember to cast every care on the One you believe in, trust me it works.

So, today I was sent an email with an attachment that led me an article written in the Harvard Business Review by Peter Bregman. This article was so true, it spoke about becoming better at who you are or what you want to be, the process of getting there and remaining committed through all of it. He asked two questions: 1. Do you want to become better? 2. Are you willing to feel the discomfort of putting in more effort and trying new things that will feel weird and different and won’t work right away?

My answer is yes and I have been doing this for the last 3-4 months. My new job is out of my comfort zone, my knowledge zone, my tolerance zone, my everything zone!! However as in the article which spoke about making mistakes until you become better I too found myself making mistakes and wondering ‘what am I doing here?’ I realised I was also making strides, but would make more mistakes and started beating down on myself, do you do that too? Instead of commending myself for the good changes I was making I was focusing on the mistakes and then really beating up on these shoulders. I would get home and my face would be like a slapped ass – lol. I now know that I need to accept that I will make mistakes but I should work more at the mistakes and celebrate when I don’t make any.

Why should I celebrate? Because my job is complex, see I work in HR and everyday is different. Yes, there are processes that are the same everyday, however, each case is different, each employee has individual needs etc. Therefore, I should celebrate that as a new employee in this role I get some things right!

Bregman stated that ‘learning anything new is, by nature, uncomfortable. You will need to act in ways that are unfamiliar…..you are guaranteed to feel awkward, you will make mistakes…you will be embarrassed or even feel shame, especially if you are used to succeeding a lot.’ He is so right, after working in customer services for 4 years I could do my job with my eyes closed, however, it wasn’t challenging in the right way, I was demotivated because I would do the job of a manager and end up with a supervisor’s pay and I was tired for the wrong reason, plus I could’ve done with a salary increase!

Now, in this new career enhancing role, I am in an uncomfortable  position but I am working on my self, working on becoming better in my role and supporting my team the best I can, whilst working on the thing that needs upgrading – I figured it out whilst on a week long break from work haha (ironic).

All in all, remember to be yourself whilst working on becoming a better you!


Wow! Just like that 2018 is over.

I haven’t done a blog post for so long I have forgotten how to do this it seems. The last time I wrote was perhaps September or there about after I started working in my new post. I must say this new position has caused some anxiety, some questions have been asked on my part, and some answers were given. However, I will speak on that another time.

I now find myself writing a blog post after months of losing my drive for writing. A few days ago after hearing an inner voice, I decided that it is not too late to restart and reclaim my passion in writing. Here I am on the verge of a new year (2019) and the ending of a difficult one (2018) and writing a post that I am not sure will be read or even viewed but writing anyways.

I will endeavour to ensure that my blog grows tremendously in 2019, reaching many others who are in need of something different than what the world offers and social media dictates. I hope to use my new enthusiasm in my blog to encourage others to find themselves through various areas. I have found myself a bit too complacent in who I am, therefore I will push myself to be uncomfortable so that I can achieve what I need to achieve. For far too long I have allowed myself to ‘just be’. Now I am interested in becoming “more”. In doing so there are a few books I intend to read to upgrade my thought process and regain my confidence. I find that reading helps me discover who I can be and who I need to be.

You see, I have allowed my lack of practical knowledge in my area of work/career to pull me into a dark place. A place where no confidence lives and low motivation thrives. I have been a part of that place for the last 3 months (Sept -Dec 18). I feel like I have broken free of such chains that had shackled my ankles and burdened me with issues I cannot share. I have decided no more because I am alive and I have hope. I intend to become great at my job and give of my best. This requires dedication and enthusiasm that I did not have for my work. Instead I had developed fear of my manager and felt awkward and insignificant in my team. However, I am determined that I will become more than what I have seem to become accustomed to. Instead of feeling as if I am unimportant, I will fake my confidence until it becomes such a huge part of me, a place where no one can break it apart.

2019 is rapidly approaching and no one knows what tomorrow will bring, however, I believe that we are all placed on this earth for a purpose and I intend to create a future for myself that will be great.

This new year by God’s grace and His will I know that there are many things that will change, I will perhaps lose people that I have held onto to for far too long. My happiness, joy and peace of mind comes first! I will not allow anyone to steal any of those things. Outside of my daily ‘what I am grateful for’ I will also upon waking up in the mornings say ‘something good will happen to me today and something good will happen because of me today’. The trick to this is believing that it will be so.

Will you do the same? How about deciding that this new year will be your year? That you  will ensure that your visions for your life will become a reality! Let us ensure that we work on us before working on anyone else!

2018 will forever be written in history as the other years have been, while 2019 holds endless possibilities, I intend to ride that train.

Frustrated to the Point of Action



Have you ever been so frustrated with life, people, situations, or your surroundings that it spurs you into action? There are times when these circumstances enable us to be our best selves, live our best life.

We rely on these occurrences to stimulate our mindset and a positive change that only us can acknowledge. We become piqued with new interest, stir up old ideas, formulate new thoughts and get busy with developing and innovating change.

Why should it come to this? It seems as if we have to be forced at times to change, become new, try a different approach or develop who we are. I get it though! it’s called life. The journey that is never the same for anyone.

I wouldn’t agree to become frustrated to the point of change, however, if you are let it propel you to overcome, to become and to achieve much greater than what you are, where you and how you are!


Being Courageous!

Nelson Mandela once said, I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it”.

I have allowed fear to run my life so many times. It has stopped me becoming successful in my life because my mind told me everything that could and would go wrong. What kind  of life am I living if I keep allowing fear to run the show?

Isn’t life about feeling fearful but still taking the plunge? How many great ideas are born from this? We wouldn’t be able to enjoy many things if inventors, architects, visionaries e.t.c. had decided they were too fearful to try! My mind can sometimes create such a blockage that it seems like I am feeling pulled under, drowning, falling apart, you get what I mean?

I have come to realise that my fears are only in my head and once I work on my mind I always overcome most fearful thoughts that appear. I have now stopped allowing myself to be so fearful that it cripples me, instead I will continue to speak to my mind, work on my affirmations and smile at myself in the mirror.

I must say that I also pray a lot about overcoming fear, the more I do it the more fearless I get. I pray and I read about the valiant characters in the Bible who made major strides even though they were fearful. They  searched the Word and God directly and found the strength from God to go above and beyond to overcome their fear. If they could overcome their fears then so can I.

There is a major decision that I will need to make very soon and yes although I am fearful, I am also excited about the prospects that might become. In life we should always take risk, good calculated risks that will allow us to grow, succeed, and become more than we already are. Life is a journey and we should try to enjoy each small aspect that makes up that journey.

I intend to triumph over my fears because in the end the choice will be better for me I believe in more ways than one.

We may be afraid but we should have the courage to always go after what we want especially when it will make our lives better!

Carpe Diem

Do you seize each day? I don’t and that is me being honest. What woke me up to taking charge of my days instead of allowing my day to take charge of me is a recent death of someone I know. He was a dear friend of my sister and unfortunately he died while trying to get help. This showed that you are here today and gone tomorrow. No one is guarantee life, no one. Yes, I know we live and we die, but what we do in-between is what counts.

I recently bought two books to help me with my procrastination issues. One is to help my mind with how I think and process things, trying to be active and take risks. The other is to assist with habits. We all know a small habit can become a big problem or a big reward. I choose for it to be a reward. These books are really thin and easy to read. They are available on Amazon and can be used whenever.

This new mindset helps with getting things done! I am hopeful that it sticks. To help me ensure it sticks I have downloaded a goal app, I will then use this to tick off each day and get to my goal of having my habit becoming a part of my life for good. I have started with exercise. I used to do this constantly and consistently years ago and because of work and a busy life I completely stopped. I gained weight and a sluggish attitude with that an expanding waistline. I am ensuring that I start off small and grow momentum. I am now less busy plus the summer is here, so why not? This new mindset also wants me to push for my career and have a change of pace for my life, I will get there, I know I will. I have enough faith to move a mountain but without works it is dead!

If you struggle with not sticking to anything I suggest you try and start small with changing a habit or developing a good one. Don’t rush and make it a priority. In no time you will get to where you need to go.


My mind is my worse enemy

I have for a very long time developed a proven record of being positive and mindful. Yet, recently I found myself almost sunken right back into a depressive state of mind. (I suffered from depression for a while and finally broke free in 2015 after having therapy on the NHS). I quit my internship three days early and quickly packed a small suitcase with a week’s supply of clothes and ran for my life to a dear friend of mine who lives in the country.  Mind had turned on me and I didn’t know what to do about it.

I felt as if I was going under and needed someone to take care of me. Well, my friend did take care of me, even though she herself has been going through some tough times. She placed her dilemma on hold for a couple of days and just allowed me to wallow in self pity for a short while. My head pained from over think and over analysis of my own problems.

I then started to refocus my energy day by day, moment by moment and the headache that had plagued me for days left. My mind felt a little bit clearer amd my thoughts were once again calmed. I have now decided to work on my thought process, read some books that I know that will help my life and set some goals with clear visions ahead. The feeling I had was very scary and took me out of my comfort zone and into a dark place I never want to return. I have now realised why it happened to me.

1. My work life was active but my mind was passive. What I mean by this is I had become complacent about my goals and life ambitions. I stopped taking time to nuture the creative side of my being.

2. I stopped exercising. It is proven that exercising helps to release endomorphins or happy hormones.

3. I have started to isolate myself. I have a healthy spiritual life, I go to church regularly and I go home. In-between that was work and nothing more. Yes, I had my friends and my sisters but life gets busy and you don’t see people often.

I have now decided that I needed to ensure that I took care of me. I hope this is the beginning of a new mindset, a new whole new me. I have started to exercise again including riding a bike which I have not done since 2011. It feels exhilarating and this Summer I am ensure I set the tone towards a beautiful change process for myself. I hope to take my friend along for the ride. I hope she is ready 🙂

Please, if you feel or have depressive thoughts don’t let it take over, seek some assistance. There is no shame in it. Mental health is a serious thing and I hope this helps some one somehow.

‘Graduation Reflection’ – My own pep talk

I decided that I would search for my graduation ceremony on youtube this evening. I was glad I did because it reminded me that my degree was not in vain. This past week has been both exhausting and eye-opening at the same time. I realised that in the workplace its ‘dog eat dog’ ‘swim or sink’, which to be honest is both scary and a lesson to learn simultaneously. The support for new staff is there but can be limited. I have found this in every organisation. The video reminded me of that feeling I had like I had won at life and the cruel joke it can play sometimes. It reminded to be strong, be resilient, be focused, determined and forward thinking. Yes, I know there are challenges everywhere, certainly, however, it is the drive that will get me through the atmosphere.

I believe that my past jobs have equipped me with such skills that cannot be learned normally. I learned to be tough emotionally and mentally. I know that any fear I feel is small because I pray to be fearless every day. I am glad I watched that video. It reminded me that it is not where I am now, it is where I will be. It is not what happened yesterday but what happens now for tomorrow. I am determined that neither man nor foe will deter me from reaching my God-given potential. I have more in me……watch me roar!!!

I have risen up like the phoenix from the ashes when I thought that all were lost, and I will continue to rise above. I have changed my mindset and it will continue to evolve, to grow, to become more than what society or any stereotypical ideas that were placed about me. I am more than!

God’s Plan not Mine

Exodus 14:14 ‘The Lord will fight for you, and you just stay calm.’

In my prayers lately, I would pray and ask for guidance from God, His way, not mine. I would ask Him to show me what are His plans for me because it seems that no matter how hard I try I couldn’t get what I wanted. I believed that I wanted to use up my degree which I spent 3 years working very hard for in the HR sector. Now, it’s not that I won’t be using it, I will be using it in a different way. I will be using it in teaching – Business Studies. I will be working as a teaching intern even though I trained years ago as a teacher in Jamaica. This way I can earn and learn!!

I decided to just allow God to work in my life the way he wants instead of me pushing and going against His will, which never works out. Is teaching my calling? I am not certain, however, I can tell you that this is the first time in many years that I feel like I could teach. All those years I tried by myself and it didn’t work out, I allowed God to take control and yes here we go!!

My level of belief has been reborn!!! I read the books of the old testament and quarrel with the children of Isreal about their stubbornness, what a hypocrite!! I was as stubborn as a mule and decided to live my life my way. Did it work? No! I have learned my lesson. God use me – that’s my prayer.

I will need Him more now than ever and I am ever reliant on His guidance and on His mercies.