Carpe Diem

Do you seize each day? I don’t and that is me being honest. What woke me up to taking charge of my days instead of allowing my day to take charge of me is a recent death of someone I know. He was a dear friend of my sister and unfortunately he died while trying to get help. This showed that you are here today and gone tomorrow. No one is guarantee life, no one. Yes, I know we live and we die, but what we do in-between is what counts.

I recently bought two books to help me with my procrastination issues. One is to help my mind with how I think and process things, trying to be active and take risks. The other is to assist with habits. We all know a small habit can become a big problem or a big reward. I choose for it to be a reward. These books are really thin and easy to read. They are available on Amazon and can be used whenever.

This new mindset helps with getting things done! I am hopeful that it sticks. To help me ensure it sticks I have downloaded a goal app, I will then use this to tick off each day and get to my goal of having my habit becoming a part of my life for good. I have started with exercise. I used to do this constantly and consistently years ago and because of work and a busy life I completely stopped. I gained weight and a sluggish attitude with that an expanding waistline. I am ensuring that I start off small and grow momentum. I am now less busy plus the summer is here, so why not? This new mindset also wants me to push for my career and have a change of pace for my life, I will get there, I know I will. I have enough faith to move a mountain but without works it is dead!

If you struggle with not sticking to anything I suggest you try and start small with changing a habit or developing a good one. Don’t rush and make it a priority. In no time you will get to where you need to go.

 

Death

I had planned to do a post of something light and positive, instead I am writing about death! How prepared are we for death? I am asking myself as I write this. My sister texted me to say a best friend of hers had passed away unexpectedly! It was a shock to me even and it left a feeling of doom lurking around my head space. I accept death when it is expected. When someone was ill or old but not someone who is hardworking, caring, ambitious and just really full of life!!! I will always remember the first time I met this young man. He drives as part of his daily grind,..meaning he operates as taxi driver. He saw me coming along and he said ” I know where you are going, come with me” I said, “I don’t think you do” and went with someone else that was a familar face. A few minutes after I reached my sister’s house here he comes. He said “I told you I know where you were going!” “You look just like your sister!”

I am deeply saddened by this and my heart goes out to his family, his wife and his friends. This is so unexpected, people are afraid to make phone calls. Sometimes we ask why? Why, why, why?? Rip dear soul. I pray you didn’t suffer before your final sleep!!!

My mind is my worse enemy

I have for a very long time developed a proven record of being positive and mindful. Yet, recently I found myself almost sunken right back into a depressive state of mind. (I suffered from depression for a while and finally broke free in 2015 after having therapy on the NHS). I quit my internship three days early and quickly packed a small suitcase with a week’s supply of clothes and ran for my life to a dear friend of mine who lives in the country.  Mind had turned on me and I didn’t know what to do about it.

I felt as if I was going under and needed someone to take care of me. Well, my friend did take care of me, even though she herself has been going through some tough times. She placed her dilemma on hold for a couple of days and just allowed me to wallow in self pity for a short while. My head pained from over think and over analysis of my own problems.

I then started to refocus my energy day by day, moment by moment and the headache that had plagued me for days left. My mind felt a little bit clearer amd my thoughts were once again calmed. I have now decided to work on my thought process, read some books that I know that will help my life and set some goals with clear visions ahead. The feeling I had was very scary and took me out of my comfort zone and into a dark place I never want to return. I have now realised why it happened to me.

1. My work life was active but my mind was passive. What I mean by this is I had become complacent about my goals and life ambitions. I stopped taking time to nuture the creative side of my being.

2. I stopped exercising. It is proven that exercising helps to release endomorphins or happy hormones.

3. I have started to isolate myself. I have a healthy spiritual life, I go to church regularly and I go home. In-between that was work and nothing more. Yes, I had my friends and my sisters but life gets busy and you don’t see people often.

I have now decided that I needed to ensure that I took care of me. I hope this is the beginning of a new mindset, a new whole new me. I have started to exercise again including riding a bike which I have not done since 2011. It feels exhilarating and this Summer I am ensure I set the tone towards a beautiful change process for myself. I hope to take my friend along for the ride. I hope she is ready 🙂

Please, if you feel or have depressive thoughts don’t let it take over, seek some assistance. There is no shame in it. Mental health is a serious thing and I hope this helps some one somehow.

‘Graduation Reflection’ – My own pep talk

I decided that I would search for my graduation ceremony on youtube this evening. I was glad I did because it reminded me that my degree was not in vain. This past week has been both exhausting and eye-opening at the same time. I realised that in the workplace its ‘dog eat dog’ ‘swim or sink’, which to be honest is both scary and a lesson to learn simultaneously. The support for new staff is there but can be limited. I have found this in every organisation. The video reminded me of that feeling I had like I had won at life and the cruel joke it can play sometimes. It reminded to be strong, be resilient, be focused, determined and forward thinking. Yes, I know there are challenges everywhere, certainly, however, it is the drive that will get me through the atmosphere.

I believe that my past jobs have equipped me with such skills that cannot be learned normally. I learned to be tough emotionally and mentally. I know that any fear I feel is small because I pray to be fearless every day. I am glad I watched that video. It reminded me that it is not where I am now, it is where I will be. It is not what happened yesterday but what happens now for tomorrow. I am determined that neither man nor foe will deter me from reaching my God-given potential. I have more in me……watch me roar!!!

I have risen up like the phoenix from the ashes when I thought that all were lost, and I will continue to rise above. I have changed my mindset and it will continue to evolve, to grow, to become more than what society or any stereotypical ideas that were placed about me. I am more than!

Summer is Here

Recently the UK has been experiencing a heat wave and the most glorious sunshine you can think of. This is uncommon for us here especially for weeks on end. I love it! I did, however, sit in it for hours while at work. I work as a teaching intern and we had to be outside in direct sunlight for two days. This was without any sunscreen, only face cream with an SPF of 20. I have now suffered sun damage to my skin and have developed heat rash all over my face.

We have a thought that because we are of a darker skin type we cannot burn or have sun damage. It may take longer than someone with a fairer skin complexion but it can certainly happen. The rejuvenation process has now begun. I have been using cucumber slices and aloe vera gel to rub on my face so that I can perhaps recover my skin texture.

I, therefore, urge us all to be careful. The sun is welcomed and beautiful but also damaging and dangerous.

Happy Summer everyone! I do wish I was going to Jamaica for my Summer vacation- I miss the mangoes, the naseberries, the sweetsops, so many delicacies and tropical exotic fruits…YUM YUM!!!