Starting Over

I believe that I have started over some aspect of my life, however, certain segments or sections still needs a do-over. Am I too old for such a belief? I have started worshipping on a different day now, I have let go of most aspects of my secular life, even though I have been a part of the church for 17yrs. I have since learned that I want to worship on a different day and based on convictions I changed. There is a still a nagging past life that must be brought to a close. I was married and my husband and I are separated and we are not planning to reunite. It took me many years to overcome the hurt and disappointment of such a decision that was made, and I now believe it’s high time we close the book on that relationship.

I have not moved on to another relationship due to the fact that there is some lingering happening. With that said I want to start over and build a new life with someone else. Someone who is God-fearing, gentle and kind, funny, helpful, a good provider and a good communicator. Someone that I can pray with, eat and laugh with and even share my dreams and aspirations with and vice versa. I am a young woman and I believe its time! Time to let go completely, close this chapter, seal the book and throw it into the sea.

The Desire to be Successful

Have you ever had that overwhelming desire to become more than you are? That feeling that greatness is on the horizon and only a stone’s throw away? Keep pushing, keeping trying because you might be in reach and you gave up! It’s also important never to look at what others have and want it, dig in your own section, develop you, work on you. Don’t give up where you are and search in another person’s area so to speak for the same reward, continue on your path.

It’s never easy to acknowledge that we are vulnerable but we are, therefore finding faith in something greater than us helps us to keep fighting and believing. The fact that we push to exceed our limits and grow constantly is a sign that there is greatness in us and that we have to constantly push for it.

Being great demands hard work, perseverance, resilience, being uncomfortable and having determination. It requires something outside of the norm that only you can bring – (yourself). Pushing past the pain and struggles to continue on that path of excellence takes something special deep within, therefore continue to strive, continue to push, continue to grow and develop. A lobster continues to grow but in order for it to do that it has to shed the old shell, the effort brings discomfort but it also brings change. The change that comes is a new bigger shell, one that fits its growing size and development.

So why do I continue to push for greatness? Why do I even bother when everything seems to be going against me? I continue because I have been through worse, I continue because there is greatness in me and I deserve excellence. I continue because I have faith and I believe God’s greatness dwells in me. I deserve that great salary, that great promotion, the experiences that will propel me further. I DESERVE IT! I wasn’t made to be inferior or even have its complex, so that’s why I push for greatness.

It may sound as if I am ‘full of myself’ but no I am full of God’s greatness, His love and Holy Spirit, therefore I am confident that God is saying continue to push in spite of everything else.  Remember Joseph and all he went through? Well, God’s favour was on him and no matter what misfortune happened to him, he continued in excellence! I am also a child of God, therefore I am confident in His desire for me to be excellent, to become more, to succeed and bless others. I will then continue to push and push, my reward? (salary, benefits package, holidays, etc) is right around the corner.

Unfair Game?

So I realised why I wasn’t in receipt of any interviews surround my area of study. My CV needed updating and badly. I had previously worked on it, however, it seemed that my format was off. Well, I fixed it, yea! I have noticed though, that good CV or bad I received a lot of attention form recruitment agencies and then their ‘services’ become quiet. Why headhunt a potential applicant and then once you have them signed up to your department there is nothing more?

It has gotten to the point now where I am done with wanting a recruiter to sign me up only to be left aside. I am a person not a number, a genuine applicant who deserves to have a rewarding career after studying for 3 years. I am at the point now where I am thinking of just going back to getting my masters and seeing where the road leads me once more. If I cannot have a job now as a graduate, 7-8 months after leaving uni, then when 1yr? What am I doing so wrong?

I am qualified as a human resources assistant, to say the least, if I am going to be honest. I will say that since I have limited experience to practice as an advisor or a consultant. That is not a low level to start since I could potentially earn £21000 possibly the lowest. I do hope something turns around soon for me, I am at my wit’s end. Being unemployed is no joke especially when my family is far from me. I am holding on to my faith of becoming employed very soon though. I continue to believe and trust that there is a bigger picture to this madness.

2018 is here!!

Are you ready for what this new year will bring? The Bible says that ‘tomorrow is promised to no one’. That being said, we could assume then that we should live our best lives, shouldn’t we? Should we not live to serve, be served, live to love, be loved etc? I think we should! Life has so much to offer outside of the everyday obvious if we stop being petty, resentful, revengeful, envious, gossipers etc. If we instead live by the fruit of the spirit, be positive in our daily actions, be respectful and caring, have empathy, be encouraging and lead by example we would be surprised how many dark days and cloudy moments become bright and cheerful.

I am always apprehensive about a new year, reason being is that I have no control over the future. So I am always reserved when everyone screams ‘happy new year’, however, I have prayed and asked the Lord to help me with this. Yes, I have no control over the future but He does, so why should I fret and worry about that which I have no control over? Therefore, instead of being so apprehensive, I will instead live each day as just that, each day.  I also do not have new years resolutions. Instead, I set goals. I have been doing this for many years, simply because at the end of a year, I realised that I hardly ever kept a resolution. So why bother?

My goals this year are many so I will put them to God in prayer. I have realised that I can try and try and even try but if I try by my own accord it rarely goes my way. I often fail and fail miserably. God is saying to me, ‘my child I am your father ask me and you shall receive’. So I have asked and He has given to me. He knows my deepest desires and my immediate concerns, I have then asked Him to place me in a job that is pleasing to Him, pays me very well and gives a good work-life balance. I know God will answer my prayers and answer in such a way that my cup will overflow and others will benefit from His blessings.

I pray that God will bless us all and that our visions and dreams will become fruitful and even multiply. Happy 2018 everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!