Admitting I am Human!

There is so much grief in the world, so much poverty, selfishness, slavery, hurt etc. It is amazing through it all we remain the same. We should be trying to change, trying to do more! Many mistakes are made daily and sometimes those mistakes are life-altering, but they should inspire to change us for the better. Yes, we are only human, but there are others out there who are superhumans. They fight the fight of faith, hope, justice and peace. They assist the less fortunate, they change the lives of people in a good way, whether by doing charitable work or doing work that no one knows about.

There are also others who help to see people to see the best in themselves by coaching and ensuring they see the vision they can set for themselves. This kind of help is seen as coaching. Today I sat down by myself as my friend told me to do and I redid my vision board as taught to me by Marie Tavernier at her first ever ‘Vision Board Party’. I have used goal settings before and categorised them in short-term goals and long-term goals in my diary, however now instead of that, I use a vision board. This vision board holds my immediate visions for the next 6-9 months. Especially that of my immediate need to be gainfully employed within my chosen area Human Resources instead of teaching. I have decided to go back to the original plan that I started out with and ensured that the hard work that was placed in gaining a degree was actually used.

There are resources, coaching, thought-provoking discussion on Marie’s website. She is an author of a very inspiring book ‘From Little Acorn Grow A Forest’. Website info is listed down below!

linktr.ee/phenomenal_mariet

http://marietavernier.com/life-coaching-single-mums-club-story/

 

Winning Right Now #walking ‘W’

In the words of one of my artist Assasin @agentsasco, I am winning right now!  I now know the feeling that my friends feel for me. I will in the morning do exactly what my friend said I should do and chill with me, no phones, no noise, no convos, just let what I have accomplished sink in. This song reminds me of the fact that we should celebrate our wins, especially since to me once I wake up I have won. That means it’s a new day to do….! I have been a humble and caring person and have never if I can remember ‘puff myself up’ I can hardly take a compliment of being told that I am beautiful or that I am strong. From now on I will, I will also believe it when it is said. My mother told me to start taking care of me, take care of my troubles, focus on me for a change and leave everyone else’s concerns alone. I will listen to her and from now on not allow my emotions and physic to be used by others. I will now and forever more love me and me some more. It doesn’t mean that I will be selfish because that is not who I am. Instead, I will just be cautious of what I let in!

It’s Thanksgiving time now girl, one part of the progress has started, the other part started a long time ago and that was to forgive the hurt and pain, forgive the resentments and hate that I harboured. Next, it’s God’s call on where He allows me to sew His seed of Thanksgiving, bring that job on dear Lord, bring it I am already grateful.

‘Feeling Proud’

November 27, 2017, was my graduation ceremony. It was quite crisp and short in terms of what took place before the names were announced for recognition and applause. The day was bleak, however, the feeling was of jubilation and glee. We have come this far by faith, so why shouldn’t the feeling of triumph and ‘we did it’ not be felt? I was reminded today by a dear friend (Cherine) who has been with me through thick and thin, that I should “pat myself and the back”. She reminded me that I have been through so much and yet came out triumphant that I should celebrate with just me! I never once thought to ‘pat myself and say well done’ or even to just have a silent/simple moment to myself that would allow me to accept what I have accomplished. I thank her for her words. When she rang me and started talking about how she felt when she saw my graduation photos- I felt so overjoyed at the fact the others could feel such emotions for me. Her words were that she was filled with goose pimples, as were the words of another friend (Shawn-Ann) who shared the same sentiment. The feeling was so that their bodies were filled with goose pimples!! I know my friends and families are proud of me, and they want me to be proud of myself. I have not even stopped to say that I am proud of what I have accomplished, and that is sad! I cried today, but good tears just because my friends can say how happy they are for me. I also cried because I couldn’t feel their joy, is that bad? Is something wrong with me? Or is it because it’s me and I rarely acknowledge my own accolades?

I have realised that I have never told myself that I am proud and that I am deserving of the good things that come to me and I need to start right now. Therefore I am shouting out that “I am proud of myself, my accomplishments, and that I am an overcomer-I am a strong woman.” My cousin Mechiena would be proud to hear me say that word ‘strong woman’ since I have been avoiding the compliment for so long. You see I have been through so many adversities, too numerous to count. Perhaps one day I will write a book detailing my struggles in this country and how I became to be who I am right now, about how it takes a lot to hurt my feelings or cause me pain. All in all, I want to say thank you to Cherine for her call today, reminding me of where I am coming from and that I need to ‘pat myself on the back’ ‘take a moment to myself before the madness of success comes’ and let it all sink in.

Those who I publicly want to thank may never see this post but I will place their names here anyways:

Elegita (mother), sister- Shana, Natalie, Natoya, Anneice, Nordia, Trina, Collette, Cherine, Mechiena, Shawn-Ann, Samantha, Rhoen, Keith, Natasha, June, Allian, Jacinth. There are many others who have played a part, however, the encouragement felt from these people were enough to spur me on. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

 

My Season of Increase and Prosperity

I am believing that it is my new season and I will be successful in all my endeavours. My birthday has just gone and I looked in the mirror and saw someone staring back at me that deserves more than what she has! I have said the prayers but have I put in the work? Have I toiled? Did I work harder than anyone else? What have I done to assist my portion? Therefore I am changing the way I programme. I am retraining my mind to be successful. I know I want to succeed and I know why I need to succeed, so why am I not at that place where I am comfortable in my pocket, love life and spiritual life?

Apart of my new birth year I have prayed and asked God to help me be more assertive in life. More intuitive and positive. I have to think it and believe it! Therefore I will be more assertive and steadfast in my job applications, the jobs that I apply to and the companies that I apply to. Monday, November 27th is my graduation and I am determined to become more than I am now.

It is my season and I am believing God for my favour, increase and prosperity. What about you? Do you believe this is your season? What are you doing to shine your light?

Birthday Eve

So it’s nearly my birthday again and as usual, before the day comes I am pensive and in tune with what has happened over the last year. I am ever so grateful for life and to be able to celebrate a new year of life. Each new age for me is a testimony of God allowing me to live to see and do something new, something grand, something amazing. I am very happy that I have people to share it with, people who love and care for me and who would give me if they had it anything! I have been praising God more, being less bossy, aggressive and mean. Instead, I have been more assertive, gentle, kind, patient, and a bit more tolerant. I will be a graduate next week and of that, I am very proud. I hold a degree in Human Resources BSc Hons, that comes after my birthday but it could perhaps be a gift for me since this degree is long overdue, but God is real and always on time. I am sensing a shift in the atmosphere surrounding my life and it will be massive and most welcomed. I believe is ‘working in the midnight hour and He will turn it around for me’ I love Him so much it’s unbelievable. I truly trust and believe that He has something great in store for me. How could He not? When He will be getting all the glory and praise.

this song below is now my new mantra and I just cannot stop singing this young man’s song because it spoke to me so vividly. To God be praised on this my birthday eve…..20.11.2017

Excitement??

A conversation today with a recruiter has shed light on my non-existence of a social life. He asked and I replied ‘Friday evenings are sometimes spent with my friends, church on Sabbath and Sunday for relaxing or speaking with my family or writing on my blog. What a boring life! Or is it? Am I being too hard on myself? Do I need to be more socially active? What else can I do? I do go to the movies, but I am more at home. Do I start going to parties again? Perhaps something else should be happening but I am not sure. Instead, I will continue to enhance who I am mentally and internally while trying not to be a social misfit. When did this happen?

Does anyone have this happen to them? Or is it just me?

Sometimes I wonder

Today is a day of reckoning for me, a day of learning!

  1. Stop rambling on- learn to stop talking
  2. Have more energy and enthusiasm
  3. Speak with more depth and have solid responses
  4. Try not to sound nervous when giving responses
  5. Be confident

Recruitment is harsh man, what the heck? The graduate world is awful sometimes, the recruiters are at times lovely though. They give feedback which is nice of them. I will overcome this though I am sure. I was nervous, hell I was spitting under my armpits like a pipe was turned on, only so because I am a nervous wreck on interviews. Life is about learning and I learned today. Having a great CV is one thing but getting high scores from these recruiters on their databases is another. I must practice a technique that helps with my anxiety and interviews.

Resilience and Determination? OR A Dreamer?

Is it wrong to think that you can have more than what has been dished out to you? Well, I believe so, if not why even try? Life will not always give you what you think you want but what you actually need. Then, you may be able to decide what you actually want is not what you actually have! I have been learning each day about determination mixed with positive thinking and having resilience. This is evidently so as each day draws closer and closer to the point of no return, but I am not where I need to be. I am not a sucker for fads and foolishness but a practical kind of woman who sees only survival in her eyes each day as she looks in the mirror.

How can I ever give up? This process is painful but necessary. Ok God lesson learned, now can we move on from here, please? Thank you!