Renewed Hope

There are times when I can be really positive and other times when my whole being is downcast. I then realised that this is life! No two days will ever be the same and no two weeks either. I sometimes wonder why I am not gainfully employed already? The answer? I had stopped putting in the hard work! I had stopped applying for jobs that means something and may have great career progression, I had stopped focusing on myself and started focusing on on others focusing on me. Do you get it? In other words, I had allowed a recruiting agent to sell me bullsh*@%t. Why did I not continue on the path of excellence? God is good though because He showed me where I was slacking and now I believe that He will pull through and place me within a job that is just the right fit!

I cannot wait for such excitement and cannot contain the emotions bubbling up. This means then that the course that I so wanted to complete and saw myself completing will suffer. I have to now ring and ask for pardon, especially because I have not managed to cement a placement within a school. This placement would’ve helped to arrive at the course on time since school dismisses at 3 pm or 3:30 pm. Now I have to use my degree and find me a post that will not only pay well but working time may be from 09:00-17:00 week days. I am not about to feel sorry or disappointed in any way since I have to eat and maintain myself in this here London.

God is able and He will supply my needs according to His riches in glory. Amen!

Flip Flopping

Am I a flop flip or a sell out to my dream? Or am I being smart and not allowing myself to live a life that is mediocre and average? I have left a job that I barely earn in for 4years and it has been nearly a month with no other job prospects in sight yet. Although there seem to be so many jobs been advertised on the internet. I apply and I apply but to no avail. I have a degree in Human Resources, yet nothing. Also, I have realised that the agencies that register you are of no use really, or I am signing up to the wrong ones? People have registered and has gonna jobs straight away while I am here pining away like an old lady. Well no more! I will not put my eggs in one basket and I will not allow myself to be placed in a box either. I have signed up with teaching agencies and administrative agencies, one agency has now I believe taken me off their books because I refused to go on a trial day for a year one TA post. I am not a year one teacher or TA and I have decided ‘don’t put Stacy in a corner’ (in reference to one of my fav movies, Dirty dancing). I am not sure this country is for me. I feel like I go around in circles trying to be successful and I am chasing a dog’s tail. I will continue however to aspire and to dream. I believe I can be what I aspire to be. One such aspiration is to work in education but at this rate, I think I am wasting my time

Soon graduation is coming up and when asked what are you doing now, I intend to say I am working and doing this!! Wtf man? Is it that my faith is less than anyone else? NO! I believe in God, I believe in prayer, I believe in myself, but I also believe in money because I need it to spend!

I hope to continue the good fight of making sure that my success is just that success!!

Things!!!

Have you ever wanted to do things in life? not just live and die but really experience the fullness of life? I am not just talking about partying, drinking or smoking, having sex or existing daily. I am talking about making a list and whilst living a normal everyday life you find the time to experience other good things. Well, there are things I would like to do, I am young and would love to experience some things, like meet Chris Hemsworth or Keanu Reeves and hug them, then get an autograph! How awesome would that be?

I have come up with 3 list-Things I like to do, Things I would like like to do and Things I have done.

Things I like to do includes:

  1. Write
  2. Colour
  3. Speak with my family a lot
  4. Read
  5. Watch TV and action movies
  6. Socialise with friends
  7. Try new things
  8. Fantasise about life
  9. Use my imagination which can be very vivid
  10. Used social media a lot

Things I would like to do includes:

  1. Travel more
  2. Visit museums
  3. Ride the London Eye
  4. Volunteer
  5. Contribute to society and be recognised for it
  6. Operate a self-development workshop in Hampton Court Jamaica where I am from
  7. Grow shoulder length hair
  8. Fly in a helicopter although I am afraid of heights
  9. Meet the royal family
  10. Learn to swim

Things I have done include:

  1. Started a blog
  2. Met a Dame and bought her autographed biography
  3. Attend a charity with other people of high social status
  4. Climbed Blue Mountain to the peak
  5. Visited the science museum
  6. Visited 2 places in America, flown through 4, Nashville and Miami Florida
  7. Visited Buckingham Palace
  8. Saw the changing of the guards
  9. Did the tourist bit and visited Madam Tussauds, Toured central London on a tour bus
  10. Learning to drive

I know it may sound corny but these are some of the things that came to me, I am sure there are many more that I have to go in each category. For now, these are the few. These are more personal that even say professional, especially since nothing is there about work, money, career, love etc. That’s for another time

Panic and Fear

Why should I be fearful when God says in his Word that I should bring all worry and burdens to him??
Sometimes our minds can allow us to doubt the will of God for our lives, the enemy uses that doubt and turns it into panic and fear and pushes us to make decisions that will only harm us in the long run. The bible speaks about Faith constantly, Isaiah 41:10 says ‘fear not for I am with you…..I will uphold you with My right hand’. One of my favourite verses says ‘ For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind’! 2Timothy1:7 Now tell me why should worry or be fearful of the future? Why should I develop panic attacks and anxiety symptoms? Just so that the enemy can rejoice and laugh at my despair? I have no idea what tomorrow holds, nor do I know what my future holds, however, I do know who holds the future. The Almighty God who is my Elshadi, Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Nisi, and my Jehovah salaam!! Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that I am yours and you are mine. I have prayed and asked God to put on my lips a the spirit of professing and manifestation of future things to come. I believe what I speak will be manifested and come to light, therefore I will be careful what I say and proclaim and make an effort to speak positive things, truth, change, love etc.
I proclaim joy and happiness, job security, large salary and success in my profession, new love and renewed hope and joy in my family.