You are What You Attract

For a while, I have known or realised that I am what I think about. If you think about negative things all the time or most of the time, then negativity will enter your life and take over. I was like that for a long period of time until I realised that I was my own enemy and my own cause for concern 1. emotionally, 2. mentally, 3. physically. I kept thinking a certain way and surely all those thoughts became actions and drew unto myself repercussions that I dare not discuss. I have however let those thoughts go and by doing so the reactions followed suit. Now I am careful where my thoughts go, how long they stay for and how many times they visit me. I have also realised that the way that we speak attracts things to us also. So instead of saying for e.g. ‘I don’t want to be late’, ‘I instead say I want to be early.’ Instead of saying ‘I hate this job and I want to leave’, ‘I am now saying ‘I would like to be employed in a job I love and enjoy.’ I am believing that this will attract to my life the post that I really need and hope for.

As I write this blog I am praying deeply and openly that within the next few weeks I will be the recipient of a teaching assistant post within a school where I can grow and contribute to the development of the minds of children or young people. Too many times I have had this thought and not carry out the action behind the thought. I can see myself interacting with these kids, impacting on them positively, becoming aware of the educational system in this country, and growing within it. Initially, I had said based on the media’s portrayal of the school system that I didn’t want to enter teaching. However, based on many prayers and meditation I believe the answer has been given and that it is to enter teaching. I will do this however by becoming a specialist. Those areas are short and instead of becoming a generalist I want to be special. Someone whose expertise will always be needed. I cannot wait to embark on this new phase and chapter of my life that. I can just picture myself having consultations with students who are in need of my service and helping realise and develop their potential. As September arrives I will embrace it with a renewed sense of passion and determination, I will ensure my thought processes are filled with enlightenment and joyfulness, no matter what or who may be around me. I have to be my source of fulfilment as I rely on God to be my source of everything else. As I lean on Him to make my light shine brighter towards men, He will allow me to be a change to not only myself but also to someone else.

Remaining Vigilant

Recently I realised that I am so happy when I talk or think about teaching. Would I say it’s my passion? I am not sure! I  will say, however, that I am passionate about being alive, my family and my friends. I realised though that I miss teaching so much and want o return to the profession and create change. To give of my time and energy to those who really require it. Instead of moaning about not being happy in a job that I have been doing for the last 3 years and 10 months, I have now enrolled on a course to become a literacy specialist, mind you this is after completing 3 yrs of university doing HRM. I love when children or young people realise that yes I can read or I can do this work! The reward of seeing their faces light up at recognising a word or understanding something in a comprehension is priceless. A cousin of mine is my inspiration in this cause, she is a teacher in Jamaica and loves to get her students from a minus to a plus. She relishes in the fact that at the end of a semester her students are better after coming to her. I enjoy listening to her speak about her work of helping her students and the plans she has to open their minds and help them find their footing in a class filled with kids ahead of them. I just love that. Her passions fuel me on. Thank you Teisha!

Will this course ‘bruk’ my pocket so to speak? Yes, it will! I know that for a while my credit card will have a dent in it, but I also know that  I will be satisfied and happy with the decision I made to do this course. There is a shortage of specialist in any area, that is why it is called ‘specialist area’. I, however, intend to use my area of expertise and climb the ladder to the roof to reach the sky. To help even my own nephews and nieces do better in school. All children learn differently and learning about how they learn and how they use their brains will be the way forward. I have prayed constantly about finding my joy in life, finding my way of success and finding that career path way that will open up doors and create avenues of change. God is a good God and He will forever be my way forward and my reason for moving higher, and I continue to trust his will for my life.

My next step is finding a teaching assistant job that will enhance my reality of working with children in this country and seeing how the system works. I cannot wait to start!!

Poetry

INSTINCTS

 

HAVE YOU EVER HAD THAT FEELING DEEP DOWN INSIDE?

THAT FEELING THAT CONSTANTLY RESIDE?

THE FEELING THAT NEVER LEAVES YOUR SIDE

BUT INSTEAD REMAINS UNTIL YOU LISTINE AND ABIDE

ABIDE BY THE FEELING THAT PERSISTS

THE SAME ONE THAT SI YOU  AND SITS UNTIL YOU JUST CANNOT RESIST, SO YOU USES IT TO CALMLY MAKE A DECISION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO LIVE

THAT’S CALL INTUITION OR SIX SENSE

THE ONE YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU ABOUT, WHICH IS ALWAYS RIGHT

THAT SAME ONE WHEN SHE SAYS, FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS

LISTEN TO THAT FEELING DEEP DOWN, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT SAYS DON’T FOLLOW THE CROWD

JAMAICAN MOTHERS ARE DIFFERENT FROM THE REST, WELL I KNOW MINE IS ONE OF THE BEST!

SHE WOULD ALWAYS SAY USE YOUR COMMON SENSE!

WE ALL HAVE FIVE SENSES THAT \RE TAUGHT BUT THE SIXTH ONE IS LEARNT BY HEART

DONT LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!

Sleepless Nights

My nights have become a bother in more ways than one. I either not sleep, not sleep well or sleep really late. This has now caused the underlining of my eyes to be dark and full. I know there is a lot on my mind, however, I try not to concentrate on that which I have no control over. I have a personal book that I write all my dreams and schemes into and yes it does help. Mind you I have reached a new low. I have not slept at all last night (August 21). I went to bed early as I have been trying to do, I must have fallen asleep because I dreamt someone whispered in my ear ‘wake up’ and I did. The time was 02:14. I decided to use the time whilst being up to read some scriptures, troll on Indeed for a career building job- I manage to apply to only 1, I then went onto my school’s website and look up short courses and completed one. I also managed to do some deep thinking which I might add did not help me. In the end, I got out of bed, made a cup of tea, and wrote my blog.

I know that I am not the only one with sleep issues, however, I want to be one of those who sleeps at night. I have heard of the calming effects of lavender and will be investing in a small bottle, I have drunk sleepy time tea, chamomile and whatever else there is. I did the night-time yoga stretches, put away my devices from an earlier time so my brain becomes climatized and I have been reading at nights now which do help sometimes. I need to now see how I can ensure that my sleep is not disturbed especially since I am realising it is affecting my day – day life. Memory loss is a sign in itself of lack of rest, I intend to only have such issues when I am at a ripe old age of 90 or so. Today will be an interesting day for me. Let’s see if I manage to get much done. I will make it a conscious effort to be mindful of my mood and engage with people cautiously.  I have much to do because I go to work for the weekend, my hair needs doing, my theory and hazard perception practice needs to become more solid because my test is due soon and I need to prepare myself for a consultation. A packed day is an understatement!

Finding our purpose in life

Some people are good about knowing what they were meant to do and be in life, and they have gone on to do just that. While others take a lot longer to figure out what exactly are their passion, purpose and if while doing it would it bring them joy and a sense of purpose. I am one of those people who took longer to figure out what it is that I am designed to do. I wanted to be many things growing up such as; a guidance counsellor, a teacher, an air hostess and the list goes on. I did qualify as a guidance counsellor and teacher, hated the counselling part but stuck with the teaching part. Being a teacher was very rewarding. There is still a large part of me that still loves teaching! That part will never die, however, I am more now interested in teaching self-development, finding purpose and linking it to the life chosen for us. On my way from church, I realised that my degree was now my stepping stone to develop what I was meant to become. I do not feel that I want to sit in the office at the computer for 6-7 hours every day for a number of years and then when I look up half my life has gone. Instead, I want to be engaged and stimulated daily. I need for my days to be filled with discussions, change, growth, activities, and developing ideas into actual tangible things. I already know my long term goals involve me doing development classes in my community back home.

On my way from church, I realised that my degree was now my stepping stone to develop what I was meant to become. I do not feel that I want to sit in the office at the computer for 6-7 hours every day for a number of years and then when I look up half my life has gone. Instead, I want to be engaged and stimulated daily. I need for my days to be filled with discussions, change, growth, activities, and developing ideas into actual tangible things. I already know my long term goals involve me doing development classes in my community back home. Helping women of all ages find their path in life and develop into something greater than what their circumstance think they should be.

I have realised that throughout my life and different career move, I have not asked God to show me the path that I was supposed to do. I am in love with now knowing that I am leaving my purpose and calling up to Him to show me. He needs to lead me into my path. In my daily devotional, I read’ He already has our entire lives all mapped out-all we need to do is allow Him to lead and guide’.  Some people are fine with what they do each day, they are fine with work a job until they retire, while there are people like me who want to create a difference. It’s not about being famous, it’s not about being recognised, it is however about knowing your choices are for you. It’s knowing that each day will bring a sense of pride and purpose. What’s your purpose?

Faith and Belief

Having faith is crucial to surviving life and the problems it carries. Without faith and hope, we lose ourselves to a world that can be cruel and heartless. Hebrews 11 gives us the remedy to having faith. It says in v1 it says “now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”. (NIV). Another version says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. (KJV)

Whatever version we use it is saying the same thing. Without this verse right here I would perhaps have become a mentally ill woman roaming the streets or I would have become something other than I am today. The faith that the bible talks about is real, without It people waste away because we rely on our understanding and not the super natural powers of God. I was suffering from depressing and thought that I would never see my family again. My days were so dark and awful it brings tears to my eyes just remembering where I am coming from. I am therefore happy now and glad that I carried my bible with me when I moved here. My daily mantra came from this very same passage. I could not see it but God had more in store for me so he showed me his word to hold on and reminded me how to pray. If there is no God then let me be a fool for thinking that there is one, because there is no other explanation for my recovery and continued strength. I believe and will continue to believe that God is real and his love for me is unconditional.

This country is not the easiest place to live, especially when you are a migrant. There are so many other things to consider because without prior notice your life can be put up side down, and then you are standing with your hands on your head wondering “what now?” But God is available no matter what is happening to us, He wants us to remember that he is of love. The evil that takes place is not because of God! He didn’t say we wouldn’t have problems, but he did say ‘take them to me and leave them at my feet’. Stop walking around with the baggage of the past, take it from me, it doesn’t help AT ALL!! When he says leave it at my feet he means it!

Micah 7: 7 says “therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear”. The Bible is filled with positive messages, even if you don’t believe in God.

A piece of me

Uniquely creative she thinks she is,

so she uses her mind to come up with this

her friends say she’s weird but truly she isn’t

she just loves to unwind with a difference.

Does she change who she is because of critics and comments?

No! instead, she remains vigilantly prepared for the outcome that matters

she has always been different from the others

a Godly gift she believes that transcends outward

because she has never been a coward

that she is me, yes me of course, who else could it be?

Stacy -Ann Thompson

 

 

Job Search

No one told us during studying that it may take months before a potential career changing job prospect might arrive, so you leave university filled with aspiration and great ideas to change the world and become this great individual. What you found instead is that although the internet is filled with jobs, because they are out there, it would take months before being accepted in one. Some people are fortunate enough to have a job waiting on them after they leave uni or might even be fortunate to get one during studying, but there are few who remain without theirs. So instead they go to a job that is at the moment just a job! However, what I have found is that while working at that job, make it the best time possible. Enjoy each shift, engage in customer relations, try to learn something new, stay focus, and never complain about being tired of ‘working here’. Let your attitude be one of inclusion, great work atmosphere and team building (at the end of the day they will have your back because of how you conducted yourself).

  • In the mean while focus on your CV building skills- I update mine all the time
  • Buy yourself a power suit- you may need it rather suddenly
  • Remain positive in the midst of it all
  • Get a great interview bag or satchel
  • Great shoes will be needed
  • Be prepared for phone calls from head hunters
  • Prepare your speech and practice in the mirror
  • Be prepared for a telephone interview- they always use this to determine if you are worth their time
  • Create a Linkedin profile
  • Use Pinterest- it is so helpful
  • Occupy your mind- do a free course, learn to drive, be socially active (it helps)
  • Peer yourself with like minded people- very important
  • Remain interested in your job search- it can be time-consuming
  • Exercise – find something to be active at
  • Watch less tv and read more
  • Listen to your favourite songs and just have some fun
  • Perhaps get yourself a coach

This list is not exhaustive of what to do while searching for a job, but it can be some of the things you can try while waiting for your dream job. I myself is at that place of wanting to use my degree to its advantage, however, it can be tough out there and breaking up the monotony of it all is crucial. Feelings of doubt and self-sabotage can creep in unnoticed and create a sense of disparency and a whirlpool of complacency. Flee from it and remain vigilant and positive! That the job will come!  It is my belief that the right job at the right time will become mine and will become yours.

Changing our mindset

Our minds can be our biggest enemy. It uses our fears and doubts against us constantly and keep us stuck in a sense of bewilderment. Getting from that stage to our path of success takes hard work and consistency. Our thoughts can become actions and before you know it you are in a constant state of none progressiveness and the cycle continues unless it is broken. This cycle mixed with procrastination is a dangerous road to travel on and can lead down of a path of never developing into our true potential and getting left behind. Let’s face it! We all procrastinate at some point or the other but we suffer for it in some way or the other, I know I do. Our actions say a lot about us, such as: where are we going? what do we need to do in order to get there, what we do when we get there. I am at the point of change, I can feel it coming and I embrace it, change is inevitable and I am poised and ready for the commitment that it requires.

I have over the years learnt to yes accept my flaws but also work at becoming better. Better able to live joyously, committed, thankful, loving myself among others, and it has worked. However, I am now on another path of self-discovery, one that will take me away from the cycle of not having to the cycle of abundance. I am awaiting my victorious bounty which will allow me to give back and do more than I am at the moment.  There are people that I use to motivate me outside of my family, I use these individuals because their life stories are so real to me, they were broken before they found themselves and developed into awesome human beings. They not only develop but they keep developing, they keep growing and changing and becoming better, and that is my goal.

A dream of mine is to have self-development courses for people from my community in Jamaica. These courses would run during the Summer breaks to help the youngsters stay engaged and super hyped for the future. Some courses would be free while some would require a small fee for materials etc, this venture I believe would be helpful as I wished there was something available like this when I was younger. I know one day it will become possible. Giving back to where I grew up is important o me.

 

Personal Struggles and Growth

I was diagnosed with Endometriosis in 2009 after doctors discovered a large cyst and mass on my ovaries which they thought at first was cancer. Feeling scared is an understatement, I was petrified. There I was a young woman, newly married and childless, no legacy to leave behind, no dent on the world had been made, no life has been lived fully yet. I was told to be prepared for anything. How could this be? why me? But then why not me?  I had my surgery successfully and was placed in the care of the hospital. The doctors I must add were excellent, young, bold, encouraging and mostly females. Living with endometriosis is not an easy task- the pains, heavy periods and constant self-assurance can be tiring, however, I have realised there is more to this than meets the eye. While we have no control over the actual disease and yes I said disease because it cannot be anything else, unless you want to call it (evil). While we cannot do anything about the actual thing we can help with the way we treat it.

Before I had no idea there were so many women living with this dreadful condition, I use to just prepare myself for the awful occurrence of pain and suffering. I thought I was the only one in the world with this issue and was afraid to mention it to anyone. I realised that it was more common than realised. Over the years I was treated with contraceptive tablets, which worked. Gosh was I grateful! I could actually plan and do things during my cycle and not feel afraid of the overwhelming pain that would grip me and have me rolling on the floor all day, in tears and begging for mercy.

I have realised though that we can use food to heal ourselves- that’s right food. Before I would eat whatever I liked and not realised that the food I ate was contributing to my symptoms.  I loved drinking coffee and eating chocolate, cheese, cheese based foods and so on. These things were helping to make me worse. I used soya milk because I hated cows milk since I was young but even that made me sick too, but I had no idea. I guess perhaps that was the way it was because I lived on contraceptive to help with the pain. I have been on the darn thing since I had my operation caused by endometriosis. The doctors were so concerned about the pains I felt that they decided that was the best option for me. So since 2009, I was on the contraceptive tablet until 2016. I decided to stop taking it because the hormones from the pills made me insane- literally. My mood swings were horrendous and made people around me perhaps not like me very much. The pills kept changing because the hormones affected me in the way it did but also because not one of them worked as they should. I had migraines, mood swings, suicidal thoughts, aggression, you name it!

In 2016 I decided enough is enough when the doctors decided against my judgement that a particular tablet was best for me because it had no estrogen and mostly progesterone(wrong!). I had a period so heavy the Thames was in awe. That was when I decided enough was enough. I went for a scan ordered by the doctor to see if the endometriosis had spread because I was having pains in places I never dreamed of, it so embarrassing I cannot say. The scan showed that the thing had actually reverted but I had a tiny fibroid- like what??? Could this be any worse? Yes, of course, it could so instead of making it a major thing I finished my semester at uni and hopped a flight home to Jamaica. Just what I needed. After coming back to the UK I decided to start researching and doing things differently. 

I looked at Pinterest for many things. I started doing the smoothies and the drinks, I eliminated soy and started using almond, changed my oil back to the old days of coconut oils(though not all are created equal). It worked- for a while, then the pains returned but I stayed off the contraceptive tablets with determination. Instead, I had realised I was now eating foolish again. So no more coffee, less meat and I mean less meat- the oxtails, the chicken, the goat, all of it(less). I started doing the apple cider vinegar with warm water some mornings not all, the lemon in warm water some mornings and instead of coffee the green tea and truth be told I didn’t realise it helped but it did!!!. Now the pains haven’t totally gone away but they certainly subsided.

My cooking is also different now-jeeze it is so different. Oh! I should also say that I have started making my own almond milk, it is much better when you do it yourself. There is a video below to show you how.